Wednesday, January 4, 2012

False Hope

Dear Natalie,
January 4th 2011 was the best day in the hospital so far. My lab results were holding steady. I was taken off the mag the night before, and was feeling much MUCH better. Your dad brought the kids to see me, and it was a very happy reunion. I've missed them terribly. We all had dinner together; cuddled on the bed; played a game. Life was normal, except for the hospital part. The doctor told me that if my labs stayed steady, they would send me home when we hit the 34 week marker...only 9 more days!!! I was so positive that things would go my way. My doctor reminded me that things would probably get worse before they got any better. But, he was just the doctor. What does he know? Didn't he realize I was in control of my body and things would go my way? Your heartbeat has been steady and true, reminding me that getting you here healthy is most important.
I just can't describe the feeling when I was moved from a delivery room to a recovery room to wait out my stay. I felt as though I was on the path home, still pregnant and awaiting your arrival. I didn't even have any baby clothes washed or the cradle set up. I was NOT ready for you to come early, physically or mentally, and things were looking up.

Hind sight is always 20/20.

No comments:

Post a Comment